Good Blog Post

I found this blog post from another woman with endometriosis and while I DID NOT WRITE ANY PART OF IT, I feel it expresses some of the reasons I wanted to stop with the hormones I'm currently taking and part of the reason I want to give the Lupron a shot, such as the weight gain (and for me it is particularly my breast size, which seems to increase with every hormone shot)/fatigue/exercise stuff.  I do not have everything that is talking about in this post.  I do not have hypothyroidism, I have already maintained a healthy diet, and so far my cholesterol is just fine.  I have tried different types of exercise but that is something I enjoy so it is not the burden that it may be with people who do not feel the same way.  I recognized some of the medications she mentions in bracket 1) and the reasons for taking them.  

That said, this is not an article about me.  if you want the link to take a look at the blog, it is on the right side of my blog or you can click this link: http://youarentcrazy.blogspot.com/2014/06/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes.htmlThis is just another woman dealing with a bad case of endometriosis and her take on it.  Again, I AM NOT THE AUTHOR, nor do I know her:

Not A Fun Night

Ugh.  It's about 4:30 AM and I am having pain that just will not quit tonight.  It is frustrating and I know by this point tomorrow will be a pointless day that will just be me being exhausted.  I've had insomnia in the recent past, mostly when I get nervous about Mom's chemo or something to that effect, but tonight it's old school: straight up pain.  I am uncomfortable, feeling that wonderful endometriosis pelvic pain and remembering when this was my life 24/7.  I thought I'd be okay with the valium suppositories, but I guess I'm going to need more than one night to get back on track.  I feel like I've taken enough meds to stop the pain, but I also think I spread them out too much, not realizing how bad it was going to be.  I should have just doubled the dose when I went to bed 6 hours ago.  Sometimes it feels like medication that knocks me out in the middle of the day becomes ineffectual at night and I have never understood that.  Wish me luck with sleep, and be not at all surprised if I'm out of touch tomorrow (or today really).  I know that all the other EndoSisters out there know what it's like to get these days and they just suck.  Plain and simple, tonight sucks.  Pain sucks.  Pain not allowing me to go to sleep sucks.  And at this point my stupid medications not giving me the relief I need also suck.  I hope everyone I know is having a way better night and not reading this because you're curled up asleep in bed.  (Did I mention this sucks?)  I am so much less into positive thinking when I am exhausted.  But these nights happen sometimes.  Ignoring them is ignoring a big part of endometriosis so I'm sharing it with you... the not great, the bad, and the painful.  At this point most of you are closer to waking up than to having fallen asleep so I hope you have wonderful Fridays and I hope I sleep through your work!

Post-Chemo

(the hospital where I spent my day)

(Remember, looking at everything through endometriosis-colored glasses)

I survived my mom's second chemo treatment.  I feel significantly more tired, physically and emotionally drained tonight.  The tired part I would guess has to do with not being able to sleep the night before the chemo (happened to me last time too) and I know I am physically drained just because it was sitting in not the most comfortable chairs for over six hours.  Sitting for long periods of time still doesn't make my body feel good and by the end of the day my back was just in spasms.  No part is looking forward to having to go back to the hospital again, wait around again, so my mom can get a shot to help with her white blood cell production.  That sounds selfish, I'm aware.  I want to help, I want Mom to do everything she can do to be well, but I am just tired and I want to sleep until Friday and avoid hospitals until the next treatment.  I'm also nervous that I will not feel good tomorrow and will have to worry about pain meds and driving Mom, who shouldn't take herself, and then possibly a long wait for the shot, simply because waiting seems to be the norm in hospitals.  Or at least this one.  So I'm hoping I can sleep tonight and tomorrow goes smoothly.  Even driving not far again tomorrow seems impossible in my head right now but I could also wake up and be more rested and not feel too bad.  So I will see what happens and fingers are crossed.

Tired

Today is one of those days... those wicked cycle days where I had a lot of pain yesterday, so I couldn't sleep, finally got to bed around 7am (yeah... that's not a typo), woke up around 12pm and now I am so tired I feel drunk.  The good news is my pain is much better.  Go figure.  I was not super surprised to not feel good yesterday... it has been a stressful couple of months and waiting for my mom's cancer diagnosis I think just put me over the top.  (See Setbacks).  It's been very important for me to get a regular night's sleep in order to feel well and I haven't had that for a week and last month was not great after my aunt passed away, so I just feel like my tiredness hit me like a ton of bricks today.