I mentioned yesterday that I had finally broken down and bought some supportive bras for non-gym use. (I already have heavy duty sports bras that are great for the gym). I was nervous that I would have to not only increase my cup size, but my band size as well and that would hurt my self-image. Well, I have been a 36 for as long as I can remember and I am now comfortably a 36/38 while still being a DDD cup. While I could do without the extra letters on that cup size, I feel good fitting into my own size clothes again. (Although I cannot wear my medium t-shirts because there is no way they are fitting over my chest). I felt good enough to actually buy a couple shirts (on sale!) that help me feel like my old self. I would like to be a little more toned still, but it was really a good feeling to be in normal clothes even while I'm still getting my hormone shot because that is supposed to cause major weight gain.
I suppose I could title this Overwhelmed (pt 2). It has been hard for me to find words this week to share. Mom is beginning to recover a bit from her last chemo treatment (in my opinion and with fingers crossed). It is stressful for me. I think I've been over the reasons enough. Add on top of that miscommunications and craziness with relatives and the picture ends up looking a little crazy or mean or whatever. But I'm choosing to look in a different direction.
I feel like I have observed all possible types of communications within a family this week, although I know that is not true. I have felt even more overwhelmed by what I can only describe as negativity or negative energy. I also realized that I feel so much less affected by negative energy now. I simply know I have friends and family who understand and support me or at least are giving it their best shot. That makes a big difference. I don't like negativity around my mom while she's dealing with chemo, but I realize I have to take care of myself and make sure I maintain my own schedule and habits that keep me feeling "okay."
