Tired

Today is one of those days... those wicked cycle days where I had a lot of pain yesterday, so I couldn't sleep, finally got to bed around 7am (yeah... that's not a typo), woke up around 12pm and now I am so tired I feel drunk.  The good news is my pain is much better.  Go figure.  I was not super surprised to not feel good yesterday... it has been a stressful couple of months and waiting for my mom's cancer diagnosis I think just put me over the top.  (See Setbacks).  It's been very important for me to get a regular night's sleep in order to feel well and I haven't had that for a week and last month was not great after my aunt passed away, so I just feel like my tiredness hit me like a ton of bricks today. 

These are the days nobody sees... for me, yesterday and today sum up the worst part of living with endometriosis.  Yesterday my pain level was worse than it has been in quite a while.  Like I said, I think my body just kind of bottomed out with all of the stuff going on.  So with that, I am uncomfortable most of the day, I have to take extra pain meds to deal with the pain and then I just feel medicated or "doped up," which I hate.  Then comes the nighttime... when any pain just seems so magnified because I don't have anything else to focus on and I can't get comfortable no matter what I try.  I took an extra muscle relaxer but it wasn't helping.  I try to watch boring tv so I am not interested in staying up to watch and so there is still background noise to let my brain focus on something else besides my discomfort.  The last time I checked my clock was 7am.  Fun times.

Today I am just so tired that I literally feel like I've been drinking.  (And no, I have not been).  It feels like a wasted day... like I just need to get through until tonight, when I can hopefully catch up on sleep and feel more normal tomorrow both mentally and physically.  I am much less likely to call or text people on days like this because I feel exhausted and I don't even know if I would make much sense.  I don't do email because I probably wouldn't remember even if I did read it and I don't want to not reply to someone just because I spent the day in a fugue state.  

On days like today I usually force myself to do some light stretching before bed and take  melatonin/other sleep meds a lot earlier than usual in the hope of catching up on missed sleep.  It's a vicious cycle too because getting no sleep usually leads to me feeling worse too, although so far today that hasn't been the case.  Maybe I'm too tired to care if I was in pain.  

I wasn't going to post anything, but ignoring this type of day when I talk to people is what I usually do and it's what people never experience with me, so I figured I should share it.  Usually I don't return calls or texts on days like today and if I'm lucky, by tomorrow I won't have forgotten that I need to return those calls and texts.  I haven't the faintest idea if this post makes sense because my brain feels a bit foggy and I'm too tired to go back and proofread.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better and maybe I can get back into my good cycle of sleeping, having some energy, then hopefully exercising during the day but most likely it will take me a few days to bounce back from the bad day yesterday.