Lily

(Lily)

Pets.  Throughout my life, I never really had a strong appreciation for pets.  I had a guinea pig when I was young and I would pet a cat  or dog if I was at someone's house but they never invoked a strong emotional response in me.  And, to be honest, dogs often slobber and I never found that endearing. After college I ended up with a cat by pure happenstance.  A friend of mine was trying to give away a kitten and brought him over to my apartment one time, which honestly is cheating because all kittens, puppies, babies are adorable so of course I ended up with my first real pet... a cat who unfortunately, died suddenly at the age of two.  In a very strange confluence of events, I then ended up with a new kitten, already named Lily.  Lily is the cat I've had since before I was sick and she is the one who has opened me up to a whole new bond with animals since I've been sick.  

At the beginning of my battle with endometriosis, my main symptom was incredible pain.  Pain so bad I wouldn't want to move.  Or, with narcotics, what felt like incredible drowsiness.  I was living in a perpetual state of one or the other.  It seems silly, but what helped me was that when I didn't care about taking care of myself, each day I knew I had to take care of Lily.  I would get out of bed to feed her, make sure she had water, clean her litter box.  It was the one thing that could always make me get up even when I felt like moving was the last thing in the world I wanted to do.  And as bad as I felt, it was reassuring to look over and see a cute little furry face curled up watching me wherever I was.  

I realize now the importance of pets.  I feel a much stronger bond with everyone's pet now that I've gone through my struggle with a cat at my side.  I felt lonely and isolated, but never to such a terrible extent because my kitty would come lay with me or sit with me (and it doesn't hurt that she is incredibly soft).  I believe that pet therapy with people in hospitals probably does work.  Not to the extent of having a pet of their own, but I can attest to the fact that my cat has helped me through my worst times just by being there, being cute, and entertaining.  I think she became my security blanket when things were at their worst... The one thing that let me breathe a sigh of relief when I would come home from the doctors' offices because she would stand up on her back feet and reach for me to pick her up... basically she would give me a hug whenever I came back.  

When I had to leave my apartment because I could no longer afford to live on my own and it also wasn't really healthy for me, it was suggested that perhaps I would have to give her up.  That caused me more anxiety at the time than all the pain and all the fear of not knowing what was going on with my body.  I was quite adamant that I would rather be homeless with her than go somewhere without her.  Luckily, everything worked out and she's been with me through two different moves.  No matter where I am, she's not far off and when I'm not feeling great, she often comes and lays with me which is reassuring and adorable or else she's within my view and she's just cute... and let's be honest... when are cute things/people/animals not helpful??

My struggle with endometriosis has left me feeling separated from a lot of people and much of society, but has left me bonded with Lily in a way I never anticipated.  It's a bond that a lot of people may not understand which is okay, because I wouldn't have understood how much help a pet could be before I got sick. She's not my child, she's not a surrogate person, she is simply my pet who has loved me just the same before I was sick, during my worst times, and continues to do so.  When I questioned how other people were looking at me and what they were thinking, I could come home and not worry about any of those questions.  And since she has been so helpful to me, I know there are other pets who have gotten people through their bad times.  So here is to all the pets who take care of their owners in their own way during times of struggle and sickness and sadness and all the other days.