Not A Fun Night

Ugh.  It's about 4:30 AM and I am having pain that just will not quit tonight.  It is frustrating and I know by this point tomorrow will be a pointless day that will just be me being exhausted.  I've had insomnia in the recent past, mostly when I get nervous about Mom's chemo or something to that effect, but tonight it's old school: straight up pain.  I am uncomfortable, feeling that wonderful endometriosis pelvic pain and remembering when this was my life 24/7.  I thought I'd be okay with the valium suppositories, but I guess I'm going to need more than one night to get back on track.  I feel like I've taken enough meds to stop the pain, but I also think I spread them out too much, not realizing how bad it was going to be.  I should have just doubled the dose when I went to bed 6 hours ago.  Sometimes it feels like medication that knocks me out in the middle of the day becomes ineffectual at night and I have never understood that.  Wish me luck with sleep, and be not at all surprised if I'm out of touch tomorrow (or today really).  I know that all the other EndoSisters out there know what it's like to get these days and they just suck.  Plain and simple, tonight sucks.  Pain sucks.  Pain not allowing me to go to sleep sucks.  And at this point my stupid medications not giving me the relief I need also suck.  I hope everyone I know is having a way better night and not reading this because you're curled up asleep in bed.  (Did I mention this sucks?)  I am so much less into positive thinking when I am exhausted.  But these nights happen sometimes.  Ignoring them is ignoring a big part of endometriosis so I'm sharing it with you... the not great, the bad, and the painful.  At this point most of you are closer to waking up than to having fallen asleep so I hope you have wonderful Fridays and I hope I sleep through your work!