Dear Pain

Dear Pain,

I feel like I've been pretty tolerant of you throughout the past couple years.  I don't yell and scream, or curse your name or ask why you chose me to be your buddy/punching bag.  I mean, I've really been downright cordial.  I don't think it's asking too much for you to treat me in the same manner as I treat you.  I mean, make up your mind!  I don't think that is asking too much.  Which pain would you like to torture me with?  Pick one and stick with it!  

You want to cause general agonizing pain throughout my entire pelvis that makes it impossible to sleep or function without a ridiculous amount of drugs?  Well, I'd rather you not choose that one but I've dealt with that one once and I think I've emerged the victor.  You want to cause pinpoint pain in the lower left quadrant of my pelvis that seems to not want to go away?  You want to find some annoying little spot to make it feel like you're sticking a needle into me just enough to make it impossible to fall asleep?  Would you prefer creating a kidney stone to rip through my healing organs and make me vomit in the ER?  Are you good with making my boobs blow up to a gargantuan size and sending my back into spasm and even more pain?  Or are you going for the slow and steady approach with the constant discomfort that just will not go away?  Is that you I feel hacking away at my immune system?  Are you playing a long con and hiding your true intentions?  Maybe looking to create some emotional pain to go with your physical side?  (Really, that would just be mean, but I know you have a knack for irony). 

I am just saying that I don't think it's asking too much to know what to expect.  We've been together a while now and your communication skills still need work.  USE YOUR WORDS.  I would be happy to prevent you if you would tell me what is causing you!  I would even be open to working WITH you.  I don't want to have to suggest couples counseling but you've really put me in a tough spot.  I try not to go to bed angry but it's hard when you just will not not let up!  I would like to know what to expect.  I am not a mind reader.  I can't predict your mood, so it would be extremely helpful for me if you just made your intentions clear.  Maybe some limits would be helpful?  You could, for example, cause one type of pain per week.  Or at least help me out by giving me a reason behind your behavior.  Help me understand what I'm doing that is causing you to be angry.  I am willing to put in the work.  I am willing to try to heal together.  But your randomness and constant need to change is DRIVING ME CRAZY!  

If, however, you don't change your attitude, I am totally going to kick your ass.  And I will win.  

Sincerely,

Me