Where I've Been

I know some people are wondering why I haven't been writing more since my mother has been feeling better and things are starting to calm down.  It is simple.  In order to get me feeling better (I was feeling BAD by June/July), my doctor added a prescription that I had taken prior to my surgery.  It has helped my body "calm down" but I have always hated taken it because I feel constantly drowsy and I also feel like it slows down my cognition when taken during the day time.  It has only been very recently that I haven't felt like I need to continue taking it during the day.  Hopefully I can now begin to wean off of this medication and slowly get my energy back.  BUT... (and this is a big but!) I am feeling pretty grateful to be able to worry about my energy level again finally and not feeling the amount of pain I had been constantly feeling.  Honestly, I just have been feeling bad since January and trying to "get by" rather than improve and live and smile.  At one point I realized it had been a long time since I last smiled and that's pretty depressing.  It is a little thing, but I am SO looking forward to going to the gym with much more consistency this month (my one goal for the next month) because I feel great when that is something I can do!  There have been a lot of negative things going on and now the absence of negative things feels pretty positive!  I will take what I can get.